MY BIRTHDAY

This is one of the many entries in my diary that I have made. It was from my birthday I want to share it with you all... this was two months ago!

It's two minutes past my 28th birthday and so far no wishes. Hmmmmmmmmm.... never thought I'd see twenty eight like this. I dunno how I got here, I isolate myself from the whole world so well that I can hide it from myself. I feel so alone. No Carla (my dog was away) to keep me sane and happy.... O I need to find solace in myself and know that I can make it on my own and adapt to any situation. It's going to take time but I will beat it... old habits die hard, but I promise that I will try harder to make friends and be more social. I just don't know how to choose and maybe I shouldn't. I am going to let the time pass and see who is still around and who I want to stay around. Happy Birthday to me and may my day be full of blessings. Thank you God for allowing me to see another birthday, another year in good health. Please help me to grow, overcome my challenges, be more social, trusting, and have friends.

My boyfriend is calling and it's 12:06am, my first text was at 12:05 from him. I didn't respond... it's for attention so he can feel sorry for me and give me more attention, the attention I crave. It's not fair to expect so much from him.... I love him and reject him... I'm going to work on me starting now and starting with responding to his texts. Here goes nothing.....

Oh and my license is officially expired....


That was the entry I made on the beginning of my birthday. Those were my thoughts and that was how I felt that day. I received no cake, no presents, and no attention. I hated that day. I went to a show with a friend of mine (who also is a manic depressive) and when it was over I got a call from my mother telling me I had to take my brother to turn himself in. (to the police) All I kept asking is how is it that I have to take him on my birthday when he has two parents and two sisters who live in the same city as him. Needless to say my birthday sucked royally and my boyfriend bought me two movies that I already owned. I don't know if these feelings had anything to do with how the day went, but what I do know is that for my 29th I am not going feel like this.

I am not a religious individual, but have a belief in a creator. I don't plan on pushing my ideas or beliefs on others and will welcome any and all spiritual or none spiritual belief systems.


Thanks for stopping by....

XOXO

Hopeful 2day