The thoughts are not racing, but instead taking a long steady road to destruction. There are a few pits stops and a lot of scenic routes, but inevitably it's following the same map as the racing thoughts. This time I am able to clearly think and understand what it is that I ultimately want.... TO NOT BE HERE ANY LONGER! *sigh*
What a relief death would bring, no more worries, no more hurting, no more broken relationships.... and especially no more trying to please everyone, including myself. I have exceptionally high expectations for myself. I set a standard that can't be reached only to allow myself to plummet head first into a mass heap of failure. I'm tired of being here, no one likes me, no one cares about me... shit I doubt they'd notice I was gone!
I'm over this...
Thanks for stopping by...
XOXO
Hopeful 2day (brings death!)
I'm over this...
Thanks for stopping by...
XOXO
Hopeful 2day (brings death!)
Ive been reading a lot lately so recently that's been my advice when seeing stuff like this. I've been in your shoes before and I know how you feel. I hated the "suicide is selfish" talk or "you have plenty to live" for talk(ultimately it is true but the unsuccessful path to getting to somebody contemplating suicide). I got a couple of books that helped me with situations like this. Do you like to read?
ReplyDeleteI do love to read. The problem is I rarely finish! Right now I'm reading 'Breaking Dawn' (2 yrs now), 'Ugly' (4 months), 'Eat, Pray, Love' (1yr), and I just started 'Women, Food, and God' (2wks). I don't exactly know what it means, but I never really finish anything I start! Hmmmmm.....
ReplyDeleteHopeful 2day