Do you remember being a small child in the store with your mother and something caught your eye so you became distracted by it. Then next thing you know your mother is gone! Do you remember that sense of panic that flopped around in your stomach as you began to scan the area looking for her. That intense fear rising up in your throat as you realize she's gone!?! Well that's exactly how I feel about my life! What happened? I lay awake at night, almost every night, wondering how to regain control of my life. My ultimate goals. My career, my marriage, my family, my life! When is going to start and how is it going to start?
I'll be 30 in two years and I have no sense of direction. I have no idea what I want or how to figure it out. I google relentlessly and self reflect all the time, so far nothing has worked. I don't know if I've given up on my own potential! I've struggled so much in the last ten years and I can't believe how much time I feel like I've wasted. I know living in the past is not helpful, yet I can't seem to get past my mistakes. I should be grateful for the learning experience, but I feel like nothing has changed with all these acquired lessons. I always end up in the exact same place. How can I move beyond my failures and figure out what I want and how to go out and get it. My life is currently full of distractions and unhealthy relationships; I think I do this on purpose to hide from my issues. It's time to make changes and I know this. The question is, where do I begin?
It's 5:30am and I have a meeting with my academic advisor in 5hours to discuss the upcoming fall/winter school year. I should be sleeping or using this time to research my degree options and classes, but I don't know if I should go back. I don't know what I want!!! S.O.S.
I feel like I'm falling fast farther and farther into a deep hole with only a rope to hold onto. I need someone to grab a hold of the other end and help me pull myself up. I definitely can't do this alone, my arms are too weak from holding on....
HELP ME!!!!
*sigh* Where can I go for help?
Thanks for stopping by....
XOXO
Hopeful 2day
Where can you go for help? For me, well, I have a therapist, and that helps. Church is good but sometimes I feel I can't disclose a lot of things with them. AA is great because there I don't have to hold back. There isn't a judging eye there because we all went through the same thing and we all have a lot of skeletons in our closet.
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